The HS Gender Gap: Men Suffer in a Different Kind of Silence

When you look at the statistics, Hidradenitis Suppurativa seems to be a woman’s disease. The numbers are clear: women are diagnosed roughly three times more often than men. Online support groups are overwhelmingly female. They are the gladiators, the ones primarily carrying the torch for awareness, and they have my utmost respect.

But there’s a quieter side to that story. What about the blokes? We are the minority in this war, but our fight is just as brutal, and it’s compounded by a unique and crushing set of expectations. This is the truth of the HS gender gap, and the different kind of silence that men with this disease suffer in.

The Gut Punch of the Stats: Fewer in Number, Greater in Severity

While fewer men get HS, the evidence suggests that when we do get it, we often get it worse. A higher proportion of men tend to progress to the most severe, debilitating Hurley Stage III—the world of interconnected tunnels and widespread scarring.

Think back to the thought experiment from my book, set in a packed football stadium. In a crowd of 50,000 blokes, you might only find a handful of us with Stage III HS. It’s a gut punch that shows you just how isolating this can feel. You are a statistical anomaly, a member of a tiny tribe fighting a war most people don’t even know exists. This isolation is a core part of the struggle for HS and masculinity.

The Weight of the Rulebook: “Man Up and Shut Up”

This is where the stats meet the social pressure. We are raised with the unwritten rulebook: men don’t complain about pain, and they certainly don’t talk about their feelings or their “leaky bits.” It feels weak. It feels shameful.

So, we suffer in silence. We pretend we’re fine when we’re in agony. We make excuses for cancelling plans rather than admitting the truth. This stoicism isn’t strength; it’s a self-imposed prison. While women’s support networks (thankfully) encourage sharing and vulnerability, the male equivalent is often a slap on the back and being told to “get on with it.” This forces the suffering underground, where it festers in the dark, leading to a profound sense of isolation and, as studies are beginning to show, significant mental health consequences.

This is Our Call to Arms

This isn’t about diminishing the suffering of the women who are on the front lines of this war. This is about acknowledging that our battles are different, but equally valid. It’s about giving ourselves, and each other, permission to break the silence.

The mission of this website is to be a space for all warriors. It’s a place where blokes can say, “I’m not okay” without feeling like less of a man. We need to find each other, share our stories, and prove that we’re not just a rounding error in a statistical report. We are here, and we are fighting.

To the men reading this: you are not alone in your silence. It’s time to talk. Share this article, reach out to a mate, join a community. Your voice is a weapon. It’s time we started using it.