Gareth’s Story: The Man Behind the Mission

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Get To Know… Gaz (Gareth)

Age: 40
Location: East Riding of Yorkshire
Battling HS for: 16-20 years
Current Stage: Stage 3 (official)
Socials: TikTok @livinglifewithhs | Facebook Group: Living Life With HS.

Biggest Lesson Learnt…
I’ve learnt that HS, like life itself, ebbs and flows. Sometimes we’re on the up, sometimes we’re on the down and that’s the same with HS. Enjoy the good times when you’re able to, but also look after and love yourself during the bad times.

**Warning – Graphic Images contained on this page.

A 20-Year Diagnosis Journey

18 years ago, when I was 22 and had just started working in a casino as a croupier, I developed my first abscesses and had surgery a couple of times within the first year for nasty little buggers on my upper inner thighs. HS was briefly mentioned by a surgeon in passing conversation which gave me my first diagnosis as HS. After a small amount of research in my local library a few days later I realised what was going to happen to me.

I didn’t wait around for the disease to consume me and instead set off travelling the world working on the cruise ships, where I continued to have a few local anaesthetic surgeries.

Long story short, and you can read the long story in my memoir (A 21st Century Boydult: Wounds, Grit, Global Gallivanting… And HS), once I returned to the UK in 2018, I obtained copies of my medical records and discovered that HS had been listed in the post surgery notes in 2009. I used this information to request my GP refer me to a HS specialist located in Newcastle. Fortunately, in February 2025, after more than 6 years I was able to obtain an official diagnoses: Stage 3 HS. Yippee!

The Unseen Battle: Dating, Dads, and Mental Wolves

Just this time last year I was emerging from a 12 month stretch of the worst health I have ever experienced, so I’ve come a long way. At the moment my battle is finding enough time to build this community and bring to life all of my ideas… while still being a dad… and dealing with HS. I find that having this to do has given me a real purpose so it allows me to keep the mental wolves at bay.

But the battle changes. I’ve recently tried entering the dating pool and it is, err, challenging.

I find it hard to look a woman in the eye. I guess I’ve told myself, somewhere along the line, that I am a worthless and that I deserve what’s happening to me. That thought, many moons ago, seems to have burnt itself into my subconscious and no matter how much I try to build myself up I feel myself lacking the confidence to even bother. That’s a daily battle. I am a loving guy and I don’t like being alone. I hope I can overcome this one day and move on.

My Reality in Images

A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.
A collection of images showing the reality of severe, Stage 3 HS, including graphic surgical wounds, stitches, and active flare-ups.

My Armoury: What Keeps Me Going

What makes me happy? My boys, Jenson and Freddie. They give me a purpose and a reason to fight through the slop of my life; to get out of bed every day. I’ve got a Bearded Dragon named Bruce and a Maine Coon cat named Winston too. Beyond them, I’m a proper 80s kid. I love Football and support the mighty Newcastle United, as well as F1, motor racing and sport in general. I also love gaming, ancient history (history in general to be fair, I think I’m getting old…) geography and travelling—I’ve managed to visit 58 countries so far! Nature gives me balance and I like to be outside in the countryside frequently.

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The things that keep Gareth fighting: photos of his sons Jenson and Freddie, his family, and his cat.
The things that keep Gareth fighting: photos of his sons Jenson and Freddie, his family, and his cat.
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The things that keep Gareth fighting: photos of his sons Jenson and Freddie, his family, and his cat.
The things that keep Gareth fighting: photos of his sons Jenson and Freddie, his family, and his cat.

A Shoutout to My Support System

My Mum – On many occasions my nurse when it comes to wound care at home. It is a sad situation that where I live I cannot get an appointment to see a nurse for a dressing changed, usually for around 4-8 days after my surgery. I am very grateful that my Mum is able to help me or else I would be well and truly knackered.

My Moment of Strength: Winning is Just Getting Back Up

Every time I get back on my feet after surgery to remove an abscess that had been crippling me. If I am on my feet and mobile, I am winning 🙂 F*** HS!

Future Plans – My Mission, Our Mission

Bring HS into the spotlight by organising a grassroots movement of HS warriors from across the UK. Change is coming. I know it is coming, because I am bringing it. Who’s up for joining me?

Want To Share Your Story?

We are always looking for more brave warriors willing to share their story too. If you’re interested, please click this link to submit your story and be featured like Gaz. Thank you.

HS Stories for men