The DIY Surgery Kit: Why I Was Forced to Do It, and Why You Shouldn’t

There’s a point of desperation with HS pain that is hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t been there. It’s 3 AM. You haven’t slept in days. There’s a lump the size of a golf ball in a place you can’t talk about, throbbing with a heat that feels like it’s burning a hole through you. The hospital feels a million miles away, another 8-hour wait in A&E that you just don’t have the strength for.

You look in your bathroom cabinet. A pair of nail scissors. Some tweezers. A bottle of vodka. And you have a thought. A dangerous, insane, but terrifyingly logical thought: “What if I just… dealt with it myself?” This is the story of my own descent into home lancing an abscess, why I was forced to do it, and why it’s one of the most dangerous things you can ever do.

Disclaimer: This is a cautionary tale, not a “how-to” guide. This is about the systemic failures that push people to a desperate breaking point. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt what I am about to describe.

A Kitchen in Cork: The Anatomy of Desperation

For me, this moment came when I was living in Ireland. I was broke, I had no medical insurance, and a GP appointment cost €220 I simply didn’t have. An abscess in my arm was weeping constantly, and another was brewing in my groin. I felt cornered, trapped by my own body and a system that offered no way out. The pain was unbearable, and the feeling of powerlessness was even worse.

So I went to a modelling shop and bought a fresh scalpel. I went to Poundland and bought alcohol wipes. And I went to the supermarket for a half-litre of cheap rum—partly to sterilise the blade, mostly to numb the terror. I am not proud of it. I knew it was stupid, but desperation makes you do stupid things. Sitting on the edge of that bath, blade in hand, was a profound low point. It was a failure of the healthcare system and a failure of my own hope. (read the full story now! Buy my memoir here)

The Unspoken Risks: Why This is a Terrible Idea

The moment of relief you get from lancing an abscess yourself is real. But it is a fleeting, treacherous victory that comes with a catastrophic level of risk.

• Infection and Sepsis: You are not a surgeon. Your bathroom is not a sterile operating theatre. When you cut into your own skin, you are opening a doorway for every nasty bit of bacteria in the room to start a party. A simple infection can turn into sepsis, and sepsis can kill you. It’s that simple.
• You’ll Make It Worse: An HS abscess isn’t just a simple spot; it’s often a complex network of tunnels under the skin. Without proper surgical knowledge, you are far more likely to damage those tracts, creating more scarring and even worse flare-ups down the line.
• The Psychological Toll: The act of self-mutilation, even when driven by pain, leaves a scar on your mind as well as your body. It reinforces a cycle of shame and isolation.

I was lucky. I got away with it. But it was a stupid, reckless gamble.

The Right Path: The Fight You Should Be Fighting

The desperation that leads to DIY surgery is a direct result of being failed by the system. The fight should not be against your own body with a scalpel in your bathroom. The fight should be in the GP’s office, demanding the care you are entitled to.

Instead of buying a blade, put that energy into preparing for your appointment. Document everything. Take photos. Write a pain diary. Use the tools on this website, like my guide on How to Get a Good GP Appointment for HS, to build your case. If you’re in an emergency situation, as terrifying as it is, your safest bet is always A&E.

Your fight is a real one. Just make sure you’re fighting it on the right battlefield.

Have you ever been pushed to this point of desperation? Share your story in the comments—you are not alone in this.